Getting Over Someone

Basic question here: how can I tell when I’m over someone and ready to be with someone else?

- C.G., Boston, MA

That is a basic question, but not a simple one. I’m not sure I can even answer it.

Sometimes hearing someone else’s experiences put things in perspective. Here is a situation concerning a person I dated, how I personally view it, and how I make it work for me. Maybe this example will help clear things up a little bit for you too.

In my life, I’ve seen a lot of relationships and been envious of very few. I see a lot of phoniness, relationships of convenience, and people together for all the wrong reasons.

But I knew that my relationship with her was something incredibly, incredibly special. I’d never felt anything like that; it was something totally different than all the rest I’d ever been in. It was comparing apples to oranges, as the saying goes.

In every way, I found her to be the most beautiful thing that I’d ever seen. We showed each other our best and our worst and remained together because we believed in each other as individuals and believed in us as a couple.

It’s interesting to think of all the things we are taught and all we are not. People are taught a million things growing up: how to read, how to use a stove without burning their hands, how to fold a towel, how to drive, and so on.

But we’re never taught some of the things that are imperative in relationships; we’re somehow expected to learn them as we go and by trial and error. I, like many others, never learned how to trust someone to give them all of my feelings, so I’d always held something back, which isn’t fair.

I also never learned how to forgive someone that I loved when they hurt me. And I certainly never learned what to do when you find someone who is perfect for you. It sounds like such a great thing, but it can be one of the most overwhelming feelings you ever experience because you want it to work out more than you want anything else in your life.

And sometimes, by the time you start to realize these things, it’s too late to make everything right.

Making her cry was the worst thing I’ve ever done and just thinking about it hurts me more than anything I’ve ever lost, never achieved, failed at, or I could really explain here.

And now she’s gone. We had talked about “forever” but this isn’t the kind of “forever” I thought we meant.

Who we were at the time we made our memories, we’ll always be – that man will always love that woman and that woman will always love him just as much. I still miss so many things about her, namely counting on – and believing in – us.

I still think about her every day and wonder, wonder, and wonder. I made her an enormous part of my life and now that she’s gone, that life as I knew it is too.

The pain is normal. But don’t think that because you feel pain you can’t move on. What happened between the two of you obviously affected you, so the hurting is expected. Truthfully, and unfortunately, it may be felt for a long, long time.

If you think about it, you probably still don’t feel great about the moment you found out you didn’t get that job you really wanted or a pet that died when you were a kid. You may never feel perfectly fine about this situation either.

What I realized, and what you must too, is that you have to move on. They have. They have their own life going, and whether it’s them being alone or them being with someone else – it’s still them being without you.

There is no other option; you can’t stay closed off and emotionally unavailable forever in hopes they will change their mind about you or that it will work out somehow. Knowing when to let go and move forward it is the hard part.

You don’t want to do it when you’re emotionally unavailable, angry at life, or will be anything but the best person you can be to whomever it is you end up with next. I don’t know if you’re there. Maybe you don’t even know if you’re there.

Trade Video Games Online

If you are one of the millions of people who love to play video games but cannot afford to buy all the games you want, there are now websites that offer cheap video games through innovative trading systems. These sites allow you to trade video games that you bought and are tired of playing for video games that you want. The best trading sites also verify the games to determine that they actually work, and most of these sites have affordable fees for helping you trade your games.

Video games are not cheap and buying all of them is impossible. You need money and you need time to play them. There are countless video games with new games or new versions of popular games always being released. The only extremely cheap video games you can find are usually pirated which means they are counterfeit and in violation of copyright laws. Sometimes you can find cheap video games at yard sales or through auction sites, but no one guarantees that they are actually working. Consequently, the best way to get cheap working video games is to find a trading store online or visit your local game retailer which may not have a good selection. Also, when you trade video games there are usually terms and conditions you must agree to in order to protect yourself and the retailer.

If you live in a big city you should be able to find a store and trade your games there. However the odds of finding the video game you want online is much greater because the community of traders is much larger on the more popular sites. A website that offers this kind of services will usually have a reasonable fee you have to pay for each game you trade. The trading system is usually fairly simple and intuitive.

First of all you need to set up an account, choose a user name and a password. Then you create a list of the games you own and want to trade. The next step is finding the game you want. Both lists are saved in your account and can be updated on a regular basis. To find available games that you can trade you simply check the list of the available to trade video games. When a game you want becomes available you will be notified. Similarly, when someone wants a game that you own you will also be notified.

Trading games is made easy with the help of the latest incarnation of online trading sites. They do the hard part for you by checking the games that are traded though their system to ensure that they work properly and are the requested game. Once you trade a game the video game is yours and as soon as you are tired of it you can place it on your have list and trade it for another video game. This way you are able to stretch your video game dollars to the limit.

The other benefit of trading games online is that you keep only your favorite video games and trade the rest. In comparison, when you rent a video game you have to pay for renting it for a certain period of time. You can only rent a few games at once and the newer the game the shorter the period you can keep it. Also if you do not return the games in time you have to pay additional fees and you end up spending more than you anticipated. When you trade, you pay the same fee for every game no matter when the game was released or how long you keep it.

Food For Thought When Travelling

That’s what most people try to tell themselves when they go travelling. The stress of remembering the lights you left on in the house, the rubbish you forgot to throw out or the toothcrush that didn’t make it into your suitcase will make your trip agonizing.

If you’re one of the people above then you know that life’s little lessons are tried and true – buy a travel checklist. This will help you to ensure that your essential travelling documents like passport, flight tickets and itinerary are with you as well as your tanning cream and bathing suit.

Finding the right packing style for your trip is actually kind of fun. Even if you don’t know where you’re going yet or about how much you want to pack with you, take the time to shopg and compare. You can compare the measurements and weight of suitcases, flight bags, carry on luggage, garment bags, and hand bags online or in the retailers near you. Try to look for accessories that are light but of durable quality. Lots of sales assistants try to sell you the colors you’re looking for and don’t think about what you need to put in the case. The more appealing cases and bags, usually high quality, tend to be the heaviest of them all. When you find something you like, literally weigh it out in your mind before buy it.

Travel diaries and disposable cameras are a very important of your trip. Without these accessories you have no real way of recalling the most craziest and most fascinating experiences you’re about to have. You know what it’s like when you ask someone how their holiday was and they tell you they saw the beach and a couple tourist areas and took in a show in the evening for fun. You want to see it too! Take a look online or in the shops to find the product you like and will actually use.

Most people don’t think they’ll last long on a journey before they get comfortable and fall asleep. For some that is true but for others, like me, we need something to keep us entertained. A good book to lose yourself in will take your attention off the clock and allow the chance to escape the journey into a whole different time and/or place. Best sellers can be purchased at the airport at a slightly higher cost to the average retailer or bookstore but usually carry a wide selection.